You cannot control what other people think, feel, believe, or even say about you.
What you can do is be true to yourself. You were born to stand out, not blend in. If someone says you’re different or weird, smile and say, “Well, thank you!” And be grateful you stood out and not just blend in.
Be kind to yourself. At least you’re trying.
Why do people care what others think of them?
Concern about what others think of us is a common human experience rooted in various psychological and social factors:
1. Evolutionary Basis: Historically, humans survived by living in groups. Being accepted by the group was essential for survival, leading to a natural inclination to seek approval and avoid rejection.
2. Social Conditioning: From a young age, people are often taught to seek validation from others, whether through praise for good behavior or performance in school and activities. This conditioning can make external approval seem crucial for self-worth.
3. Self-Esteem: Many individuals tie their self-esteem to how they are perceived by others. Positive feedback boosts self-esteem, while criticism or rejection can harm it.
4. Fear of Rejection: The fear of being judged or rejected can be powerful. This fear can drive people to conform to others’ expectations to avoid the discomfort of rejection.
5. Desire for Belonging: Humans have a fundamental need to belong and feel connected to others. Worrying about others’ opinions can be a way to ensure acceptance and maintain social bonds.
6. Comparison and Competition: Society often encourages comparison and competition, whether in academics, career, or social status. This can lead to heightened awareness of others’ perceptions and striving to meet societal standards.
7. Identity and Validation: External opinions can influence one’s sense of identity. Positive validation from others can affirm one’s sense of self, while negative opinions can cause self-doubt.
8. Cultural Influences: Some cultures place a high value on social harmony, reputation, and honor, making concern about others’ opinions more pronounced.
9. Perfectionism: Individuals with perfectionistic tendencies may be particularly concerned with others’ perceptions, as they strive to meet exceedingly high standards.
10. Past Experiences: Negative experiences, such as bullying or criticism, can make individuals more sensitive to others’ opinions and more likely to seek external validation.
While it is natural to care about others’ opinions to some extent, excessive concern can be detrimental to one’s mental health and well-being. Strategies to mitigate this include building self-confidence, focusing on intrinsic values and goals, practicing self-compassion, and seeking therapy if needed to address underlying issues.